Winter Howl (Sanctuary) Read online

  Renee got out of bed, listening as the howl rose again, higher and almost ringing in her ears. She slipped her house shoes on and went downstairs. Grabbing her dressing gown from the hall coat rack, she opened the front door and stepped out. She didn’t turn on the porch light. Even without it on, she could see Grant running around the corner of the dog barn. The moment he saw her, he howled again, sounding as if he had found prey, as though he were calling to a pack.

  With a hitch of effort, he walked straight into his human skin, bones and sinew creaking before leaving him a light piece of flesh in the moonlight.

  “You know it’s not safe to be out here,” he said.

  She didn’t feel any of the chill when she shed her dressing gown on the porch steps, single-minded as she grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him down to her. He was not quite as tall for her as Jake—it felt as though he fit better, a little shorter than Britt. And God, he was all around her, not even stopping to ask as he plundered her mouth, drinking her in and holding her tightly against his rapidly reacting body, as hard as a rock to the touch, hard and warm and smooth. She touched him everywhere, feeling every inch of him as he ripped the camisole off and pushed her bra down to release her breasts to his mouth—hot, passionate, not caring how she was shaking or panting or digging her fingernails into his shoulders. Half pushing him away and half bringing him closer.

  He wrenched himself away from her flesh that glistened from his saliva, grinning silver, sharp teeth as he shoved her down on the porch so that he could pull off her pants. He did not even bother taking off her panties, just pushed them aside.

  Then he was filling her, filling a place that had been so empty and grasping until he stretched her around him. She whimpered. It should have hurt, but it didn’t. She just wanted him to fuck her, fuck her hard, make her feel something.

  He bent over her as he did what she wanted without her saying a word. His vulpine teeth sank into her shoulder, and her hips rose to meet his as the coil of ecstasy released. She thrashed against it, with it.

  And then there was nothing, and the rise of physical sensation was lost when she opened her eyes to the wooden beams of the roof. She was in her own room. Britt was above her, shaking her. Her orgasm was awful, an unbearable clenching into nothingness without even the benefit of arousal. A bodily response to blood flow, with no feeling of warmth at all.

  Renee gripped tightly to Britt’s wrist as she rode it out without any pleasure.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Britt asked, sounding really concerned. Renee wondered whether she had been making any noise. She remembered bits of the dream—it was already fading away. All she knew was that Grant had been inside her, doing whatever he liked, that she had somehow been turned on, but that the climax had been empty. Stolen.

  “Sorry,” Renee said as her heart rate began to return to a normal pace. “Nightmare.”

  “I’ll say,” Britt murmured. “You were thrashing in your sleep.”

  “Not to interrupt or imply anything, but it honestly doesn’t smell like a nightmare,” Jake said. He did look concerned, though.

  “Blood flow to the genitalia is biologically normal during sleep. Even for women,” Renee said. “It was a bad dream.”

  “Do you need your medication?” Britt asked.

  “I’m calm now,” Renee said. “But…” She curled her knees under her to kneel and press her lips against Britt’s neck. She stroked a wet line up the curve of Britt’s throat with her tongue. Britt gasped at the unexpected sensation.

  “Please,” Renee whispered. “I don’t want to… I’ve already, you know… But I want to feel you.”

  Britt wrapped her arms around Renee’s waist. “Who am I to resist such a wish?” she asked with a grin.

  “Can we…in your bed? Can we fit?” Renee asked. “I don’t think I’m ready for Jake to be with me like that…but I don’t mind him there. I want him there.”

  “I wouldn’t complain,” Jake said. “Come here.” He held out his arms. “I’m sorry you had a bad dream.” He took her into an embrace, just to comfort her, not with any other thought behind it. Jake was one of the few people she could allow to get so close, especially when she was feeling so vulnerable. Britt was another, of course. Renee brushed her lips against his chest lightly, then pulled away.

  He scooted over in the queen-size bed to lie against the other pillow, content with watching for the time being.

  Renee lay down on the bed, removing her pyjama pants much more patiently than Grant had in her dreams, then buried her hands in Britt’s beautiful hair as Britt climbed over her. She loved Britt’s hair, the way it curled around her fingers, how soft it was, how it closed in around them so it was just the two of them in the world. Renee breathed her in as she kissed the woman, smelling skin, smelling Britt’s shampoo, smelling a little of Jake. If asked, she would not be able to articulate what those smells were, only that they were. She kissed Britt as if drinking her in, and Britt, seeming a little surprised, matched her fervour, responding with the intensity that Renee demanded.

  She wrapped her legs around Britt’s waist, curling them around the length of Britt’s thighs and stroking skin on skin. It was a new sensation, and she had never known just how sensitive her legs could be, particularly her thighs. They clenched against Britt’s hip bones as Renee tried to bring her closer, almost like pulling her in. It was as though Renee were trying to merge the two of them, but it was just impossible. Renee broke the kiss in frustration.

  “What is this?” Britt whispered. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m just… I feel lost. Disconnected. I want to… It’s like you can’t get close enough.” She explored lower with her mouth, running over the line of Britt’s collarbone.

  “That must have been some dream,” Britt breathed.

  Renee slid down farther under Britt until her mouth pressed against the flesh of her breasts, tasting the skin there, licking under them where the breast was heavy against her tongue before taking the nipple into her mouth. She was gentle, but Britt almost whined as she flicked her tongue back and forth, enjoying the sensation of the rough, hard nub in her mouth. She ran her nails up Britt’s thighs before sliding them over the firm, round flesh of her ass.

  “Whoa, girl,” Britt said, lifting herself up so that she was on her hands and knees. “Don’t start something you can’t finish. What’s up?”

  “I’m sorry,” Renee murmured. “I didn’t mean to get that carried away.”

  “No,” Britt said, lying down next to her after Renee shifted so that she was between Jake and Britt. “Don’t be sorry. It was good. I promise.”

  “I’ll say,” Jake muttered. Renee elbowed him in the stomach, but there was not any force to it.

  “It’s just it wasn’t like you. That’s all. Was it the dream?”

  Renee closed her eyes, her head against the pillow, and both Britt and Jake brought the blankets over them.

  “I wanted to get close. And I couldn’t do that just staying where I’ve always been. Why did you let me stop?” Renee asked. She curled her fingers around Britt’s until she was holding Britt’s hand tightly.

  “It was hard to say no, if I’m being honest,” Britt said. “But partly because I didn’t think you were really ready. Or completely awake. When you and I go further, I would rather do it in the light. Does that make sense?”

  “It’s harder to teach me when I can’t see the chalkboard?” Renee answered.

  Jake snorted into laughter behind her, and Britt joined him on the other side of her. “Basically,” she said. “I want to know we’re both ready and that we’re completely conscious. It’s important to me. It’s important that things go well for you, and I’m not sure whether this was the best time for that.”

  “But soon?” Renee asked.

  “If you’re that eager,” Britt said, kissing her softly and lingering a little, “I can guarantee it.”

  “I hope you don’t mind if I put some of the quilt between us,” Jake said. �
��Gender hazard.”

  The sides of Renee’s mouth curled up. “It’s fine.”

  Then Claire jumped up on their bed, because it was sure to be warmer where three humans slept than where her last human had vacated, and they had to be still. Renee relaxed into the warmth of the two friends with her. It was only a matter of time before she fell asleep again. Just in that place between sleeping and waking, she thought she heard the howl again. But she fell beyond it before she could tell.

  Chapter Five

  Renee turned on the intercom. “Attention. In thirty minutes, the last shipment of the season will be coming in. I will need some human skins around, so decide whether you want to be seen or not. Thank you.”

  Unloading was always a complicated time because the shapeshifters so rarely liked to show their faces to outsiders, but she needed as many of them as possible to help her put everything away as it came out.

  The circumstances of their being at the sanctuary determined how comfortable they were being seen by visitors. Usually Jake was okay with showing his face, although Britt was not. Britt did not want her parents to find her under any circumstances, but Jake’s family knew where he was. Malcolm usually helped out, as did two other shapeshifters named Nancy and Lotus. They were both regular workers. Ki would usually be in her human skin, but she would not make herself known unless she had to. Max would make himself scarce at these times and would only help move when the shipping guys had gone. Both of their families knew where they were, but they did not want strangers seeing their human faces. They wanted as little record of their human identities as possible.

  Once the bell at the gate rang at the arranged time, Renee remotely opened the gate, a mechanism she only used on the days the shipping trucks came, and waited five minutes before closing it. The shipping truck would be up in about ten more minutes. It sometimes took them more effort because of their vehicle’s size on such an unsure and sometimes slippery gravel road.

  She shed her house shoes for more substantial boots and pulled her denim jacket on over her thin sweater. It would be cold when they started unloading, but after a while, the work would keep her warm enough.

  “Are you going to help this time, Les?” Renee asked, closing all the windows on her computer after saving some of the copy for new blog posts and dog profile changes.

  “I’m afraid I’m in too far in this scene to leave it like this,” Leslie said, not taking his eyes from the computer screen as his fingers typed almost too quickly to see. “Maybe next time.”

  Renee grinned. He always said that, but she knew Leslie liked to be asked.

  “Don’t work too hard,” she said. “Be sure to eat something.”

  “Mm-hmm,” Leslie replied, already deep inside the fictional world on the page in front of him.

  She went out to see all her usual shapeshifters on duty, ready for the afternoon-long effort and knowing that there would be frozen pizza ready for them after all their work. It was both a treat and a thank you from Renee for helping the sanctuary run smoothly. As far as she knew, pizza was a universal language for appreciation, and it was so easy for Ki to cook it for everyone.

  The dogs all rushed around them, mouths wide and tails wagging furiously. They would get in the way, of course, but Renee and the group were used to that, as were the shipping guys. They usually loved to come to the sanctuary because they were surrounded by dogs who were all excited to see them. In general, she had a good relationship with this particular shipping company—they had been working with her for all six years that she had run the sanctuary on her own.

  Britt was there, too, looking regal and calm near the dog barn wall, watching everything and making sure that the dogs kept in line. Max was nearby as well, also for dog control purposes. They did want to help as much as they could, even if they could not do it in their human skins.

  Renee’s eyebrows rose when she saw Grant walk around from the back of the log home to join them. He was not wearing anything warm, in spite of the increasingly cold weather. Just one of those white undershirts with his jeans and boots.

  “Well, don’t look so surprised,” Grant said. “I haven’t seen human meat in a while. With exception of you and your friends from town, of course.”

  Renee did not comment on his designation of humans as meat. It was just too much like him. As long as he behaved himself and helped, she was just going to ignore it.

  “There they are,” said Malcolm.

  “Thank you, Malcolm,” Lotus, the youngest shapeshifter in the sanctuary at just under eighteen years old, said. “It’s not like any of us have eyes or anything.”

  “I’m just saying,” Malcolm retorted.

  “I know. But you don’t have to.”

  Nancy, a woman around Leslie’s age, punched Lotus in the arm, and she must have punched him more than just playfully, because he winced and didn’t continue to goad Malcolm, who sometimes took his managerial role a little too seriously.

  Renee raised her hand in greeting as she went up to meet the shipping guys.

  “Hey, Miss Chambers,” said the taller one, Vic Taylor, who had a face something like a thin basset hound’s. “It’s good to see you again. Got any early Christmas presents for me this year?”

  “Sorry, I just have the usual tip,” Renee replied.

  “Shame, that,” said the other one, Daniel Franklin, whose proud moustache made him look a bit like a fox terrier. “I had my heart set on an Xbox.”

  “A what?” Renee asked.

  “Popular game console,” Daniel Franklin said. “I guess you guys are kind of cut off up here. There are advertisements for it all the time on TV.”

  “We don’t watch much television,” Renee said.

  “Do you even have a television up here?” Vic Taylor asked.

  “We have one,” Renee said. “It doesn’t get used much. We sometimes watch movies.”

  “Sounds nice,” Vic Taylor said. He took a deep breath and clapped his hands together. “So, you ready for this?”

  “Whenever you are, boys,” Renee said.

  It was a long, hard slog, but after two hours they managed to get every box off the truck, in addition to the items that Renee took out of some of the boxes and stored in trash bags in her old room. She didn’t want the shapeshifters to see their Christmas gifts when they started unpacking. They knew what Renee was hiding and where, of course, but as far as Renee knew, they’d never peeked. Either that or they could all play a mean poker game, because they always looked surprised and pleased on Christmas morning.

  Grant was a bigger help than Renee had thought he was going to be. And he was certainly stronger than he looked. It could have been because the werewolf in him gave him supernatural strength. Or Grant could just be particularly strong. Renee wasn’t sure.

  Renee thanked the shipping guys after they’d finished unloading everything. Even though not everything—not even nearly everything—had been put away, she would not let them stay to finish packing everything away, knowing that she would get a little extra help after they left. She tipped them her usual one hundred dollars in cash for each of them, gracious that they came up every season for her needs and never once complained or seemed resentful of tripping over dogs and stepping around shit that hadn’t been picked up yet. Renee guessed the job was routine for them, but it was more than that for her and the sanctuary.

  Once the truck had left, Britt and Max went into the house and re-emerged with Ki, clothed and ready to resume the unloading. Things moved more quickly now.

  She didn’t notice that Grant was behind her as she carried one of the boxes back to the house from the pile of items in the centre of the front yard. He pulled her into the thin space between the shifters’ barn and the dog barn.

  “What?” Renee asked.

  He did not even hesitate. “You know I say what I want, and you probably guessed I don’t like to be told no. And you haven’t told me no yet. You gave me the benefit of the doubt when you shouldn’t have. And I just wante
d to say… Thank you. I wanted to say thank you.”

  Renee blinked. “Sure,” she said. Somehow, she could not find the words to say he was welcome when she wasn’t sure how sincere he was.

  “I know that you and the bitch are getting along,” Grant said. “And I can smell him on you, too. Not as much as the bitch, but it’s enough.” He took the box she was holding from her arms and let it drop to the ground, so that she did not have anything to use as a barrier between them. “So you really are okay with the two of them together as long as you’re in the mix.”

  “It’s none of your business,” Renee said.

  “It’s all my business. I can’t help what I smell, and as long as I can smell their scents all over you, it becomes my business.”

  “You don’t have to say anything.”

  “Oh, I think I’ve been quiet long enough,” Grant said.

  “So, what? You don’t approve?” Renee said. “It’s not right? They’re not a match for me? I’m going to get hurt? When did you become so altruistic?”

  “My goals are completely self-serving,” Grant said. “But that doesn’t change the fact that they’re not good enough for you.”

  “And you are.” Renee did not state it as a question, but it was implied. She turned to pick up the box and leave.

  He grabbed her by the arms and spun her around so hard that she almost lost her balance. He gripped the flesh to the bone, his fingers tight and painful. “They can’t give you what you need,” Grant said. “Because you can’t give them what they need, you’ll never get what you need.”

  Renee did not even dignify his unfounded accusation with an answer. There was no way he could know what all three of them needed. He was trying to intimidate her, and he was doing a good job just with his hands. What he was saying seemed secondary. She felt her heart beat against her lungs the way it always did before a panic attack. Her shoulders began to turn inward.